He acted strong until the door closed behind him, in the same second, the tears over floated and he felt completely alone, a few hours earlier he’d been feeling complete, and more happy than ever before, but now it was all over, it took him a long time to pull it together and leave the building.
As he placed his back in the trunk of the car, he gazed back at the apartment, he felt like his heart was breaking apart, he didn’t know if he could bear it, he sat down in the car, and looked back again as the apartment, Ms Howell and Dan was disappearing behind him, quiet tears fell from his eyes.
Luckily it was his brother, Martin who’d picked him up, and not his father, he would have yelled at him for crying, or pulled into the side and hit him.
But his brother wasn’t like that, he accepted him as he were, girly or not girly, gay or not gay, he was the reason Phil was still alive, or else he would probably have committed suicide at a young age.
“You want to talk ‘bout it Phil?” Martin looked at him in the driving mirror, Phil shook his head and looked down, he just wanted to be alone, curl up at his bed and hug Lion and Pikachu tightly while he could cry.
“You know you can always talk to me right? I’ve been so worried for you” Martin said again and looked at his younger brother, “please Phil, it suffers me to see you this broken.”
Phil looked at his brother in the mirror, and fresh tears poured from his eyes, he buried his head in his palms and started to sob uncountable, he felt so hopeless, he just wanted to be with Dan again, to hug him, kiss him, protect him, adore him, touch him, just be near him, and hear his voice, drown in his beautiful eyes, cuddle up to him.
After about two hours his sobbing died out, and his eyes were smarting and they felt like they’d dried in, he felt empty inside, like his heart had been ripped out.
When the car finally stopped, and he got inside, he hurried upstairs and into his room where he collapsed at the bed, not even bothereing to close the door, just waiting for his dad to come and hit him, as he knew he would, it was only a matter of time and he couldn't escape.
His mom placed her hand on his shoulder, and when he didn’t move she picked him up, and stumbled to his room where she put him down at the bed, he curled himself into a ball and hugged his legs, he felt all alone, like there was nothing back that could make him happy, he just wanted to sleep, and wake up in Phil’s arms again, like the same morning where he woke up in his arms, more happy than he’d ever been before.
“Do you want anything to drink or to eat honey?” Him mom asked, she probably looked at him with those worried eyes of hers, but he didn’t look at her so he couldn’t see it, he just wanted to be alone, hug his llama and go to sleep, while dreaming of Phil.